Saturday 5 December 2009
Hug me.......Hug me !
Hug me ….. Hug me!
“ We need 4 hugs a day for survival, we need 8 hugs a day for maintenance, we needs 12 hugs a day for growth” - Varginia Satir, a Family Therapist.
‘Hug’ has become a therapy – to create awareness about a healthy and wholesome habit endamged by the bustle of modern life. When we want to express that a situation has triggered intensive feelings in our heart or belly area, we say “it touched my heart” or “it touched me” and we should feel lucky to have the possibility – to learn the art of ‘Touching’. All human beings on our planet automatically touch the spot whom they have bumper their heads. In many cultures, people shake hands, kiss or embrace each other as greeting, through this first touch, a sensitive individual directly feels on which level the encounter with the other person will take place. Animals are apparently similar to us in this respect.
Women are some what a head of us men in the art of touching, because their material instinct, their basic nature lets them be willing to touch others as well as themselves, in a loving way and without any sexual ulterior motives. Touching brings joy and well being to the person who touches and the person who is touched. There are actually just two types of touching, conscious and loving or unconscious, lukewarm touching.
Touch and hug leads us to a better understanding of our own sensitivity and brings real physical as well as psychological benefits! Kajal Basu, an old journalist said that it loosens you up and breaks the bonds of body as well as society. Previously, the more ritualistic ways of greeting people , hand-shakes and namastes are designed to keep us apart rather than bring us together- he argues !
R.Chandran, a Reiki Master of Mumbai says that hugging is a tool of transformation. Hugging brings people closer to each other. If your relational ship with somebody is not working
Try hugging him twenty times a day and there will be a significant difference. ‘Touch therapy’ based on the transfer of energy, the area of touch is much larger in the case of ‘hugging’ and the contact is much more intricate, so the effects are subtler!
‘Pray with your heart, work with your hands’ was the simple instruction given by Sri Matha Amritananda mayi to her followers. When she travels, hug and gatherings spring around ‘Amma’. It is during these, as she hugs every person that comes to her that ‘Amma’ comes in touch with the common needs of the common people.
A song in husky voice... I am hearing. a whispering tone calling me to hug…as I look around I saw a holy fig tree from temple of Lord Sai Baba , a Neem tree from the temple of Godess Maha Lakshmi, a Beal tree from the temple of Lord Shiva, a Basil bush from the temple of Lord Krishna, a Neem and Ficus tree combination from the temple of Lord Vishnu…they are offering to give a divine, sacred hug of spirituality and mental relaxation!
The big and tiny flowers with sweet scents in attracting colors are also inviting in a silent , whispering language to have a worm and pleasing hug. A dream girl in a dreamy state sending signs with her half closed eyelids to hug her with out any delay. A goat with innocent looks at her sheappred boy, a cow with innocent looks at his cattleman, a bird in the cage with her innocent looks at her owner, expressing their intension of worm hug or touch love ! A tiny, shiny, creeper ‘touch me not’ welcoming to hug her or touch her closely!
Far away the sky is hugging the earth, the child is hugging her mother, tiny bird is hugging, and small puppy is hugging her mother dog…I am unable to hear the whispers, the murmuring, husky voice and unaware of the silent signs, the lovely language of the tender beautiful flowers ! I could’nt understand why I am unable to feel the rhythm of Nature and Life. I became mad…my eyelids half closed…and wandering madly! Then suddenly I heard a tingling sound of temple bells, the whispers, husky voice and so on…my eyes opened and I saw a beautiful Hug…and lastly I was in a friendly, lovely and worming ‘Hug’!
It only takes a hug…a heart felt and worm embrace, to change the lives of others!
How to Hug:
“The real hug, the full body hug, touches all the bases and creates a sense of complete giving and total communication”. Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind.
* Non-hugs are no good. In his book, ‘Caring, Feeling, Touching’, Dr.Sidney Simon
Describes five non-hugs:
1. The A frame hug, in which nothing but the hugger’s head touch.
2. The half hugs, where the hugger’s upper bodies touch while the other half twists away.
3. The chest-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.
4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.
5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.
• The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr.Simon describes it like this.’Two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring who it is they are about to hug…you try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give…with a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless communication, one uncomplicated by words.’
• “It is the attitude that is important” says Vikas Malkani. “It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways.
• Generally, hug only friends and people you know. “Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched,” warns Dr. Bhagat.
• Stereo type of men being less demonstrative than women in their love and affection is by and large true. “But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties,” says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even touch ones respond to hugging.
• Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani’s advice is still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel greateful to you.
• When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one.
• Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party!
I would like to thank the author Parveen chopra and Publisher of this article and to post in this blog with some additions.
“ We need 4 hugs a day for survival, we need 8 hugs a day for maintenance, we needs 12 hugs a day for growth” - Varginia Satir, a Family Therapist.
‘Hug’ has become a therapy – to create awareness about a healthy and wholesome habit endamged by the bustle of modern life. When we want to express that a situation has triggered intensive feelings in our heart or belly area, we say “it touched my heart” or “it touched me” and we should feel lucky to have the possibility – to learn the art of ‘Touching’. All human beings on our planet automatically touch the spot whom they have bumper their heads. In many cultures, people shake hands, kiss or embrace each other as greeting, through this first touch, a sensitive individual directly feels on which level the encounter with the other person will take place. Animals are apparently similar to us in this respect.
Women are some what a head of us men in the art of touching, because their material instinct, their basic nature lets them be willing to touch others as well as themselves, in a loving way and without any sexual ulterior motives. Touching brings joy and well being to the person who touches and the person who is touched. There are actually just two types of touching, conscious and loving or unconscious, lukewarm touching.
Touch and hug leads us to a better understanding of our own sensitivity and brings real physical as well as psychological benefits! Kajal Basu, an old journalist said that it loosens you up and breaks the bonds of body as well as society. Previously, the more ritualistic ways of greeting people , hand-shakes and namastes are designed to keep us apart rather than bring us together- he argues !
R.Chandran, a Reiki Master of Mumbai says that hugging is a tool of transformation. Hugging brings people closer to each other. If your relational ship with somebody is not working
Try hugging him twenty times a day and there will be a significant difference. ‘Touch therapy’ based on the transfer of energy, the area of touch is much larger in the case of ‘hugging’ and the contact is much more intricate, so the effects are subtler!
‘Pray with your heart, work with your hands’ was the simple instruction given by Sri Matha Amritananda mayi to her followers. When she travels, hug and gatherings spring around ‘Amma’. It is during these, as she hugs every person that comes to her that ‘Amma’ comes in touch with the common needs of the common people.
A song in husky voice... I am hearing. a whispering tone calling me to hug…as I look around I saw a holy fig tree from temple of Lord Sai Baba , a Neem tree from the temple of Godess Maha Lakshmi, a Beal tree from the temple of Lord Shiva, a Basil bush from the temple of Lord Krishna, a Neem and Ficus tree combination from the temple of Lord Vishnu…they are offering to give a divine, sacred hug of spirituality and mental relaxation!
The big and tiny flowers with sweet scents in attracting colors are also inviting in a silent , whispering language to have a worm and pleasing hug. A dream girl in a dreamy state sending signs with her half closed eyelids to hug her with out any delay. A goat with innocent looks at her sheappred boy, a cow with innocent looks at his cattleman, a bird in the cage with her innocent looks at her owner, expressing their intension of worm hug or touch love ! A tiny, shiny, creeper ‘touch me not’ welcoming to hug her or touch her closely!
Far away the sky is hugging the earth, the child is hugging her mother, tiny bird is hugging, and small puppy is hugging her mother dog…I am unable to hear the whispers, the murmuring, husky voice and unaware of the silent signs, the lovely language of the tender beautiful flowers ! I could’nt understand why I am unable to feel the rhythm of Nature and Life. I became mad…my eyelids half closed…and wandering madly! Then suddenly I heard a tingling sound of temple bells, the whispers, husky voice and so on…my eyes opened and I saw a beautiful Hug…and lastly I was in a friendly, lovely and worming ‘Hug’!
It only takes a hug…a heart felt and worm embrace, to change the lives of others!
How to Hug:
“The real hug, the full body hug, touches all the bases and creates a sense of complete giving and total communication”. Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind.
* Non-hugs are no good. In his book, ‘Caring, Feeling, Touching’, Dr.Sidney Simon
Describes five non-hugs:
1. The A frame hug, in which nothing but the hugger’s head touch.
2. The half hugs, where the hugger’s upper bodies touch while the other half twists away.
3. The chest-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.
4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.
5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.
• The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. Dr.Simon describes it like this.’Two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring who it is they are about to hug…you try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give…with a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless communication, one uncomplicated by words.’
• “It is the attitude that is important” says Vikas Malkani. “It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways.
• Generally, hug only friends and people you know. “Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched,” warns Dr. Bhagat.
• Stereo type of men being less demonstrative than women in their love and affection is by and large true. “But men are more open to hugging after a few drinks at parties,” says Pommi Malhotra. From her experience she says that even touch ones respond to hugging.
• Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but Malkani’s advice is still go at it because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel greateful to you.
• When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one.
• Any place is good enough for hugging: home, office, school, church, a party, a conference. You may, however, feel uncomfortable hugging, for example, at work. In that case, prefer a more intimate environment, such as at home with friends or at a party!
I would like to thank the author Parveen chopra and Publisher of this article and to post in this blog with some additions.
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